“Du må lære deg å stresse ned”

… Var det jeg fikk høre fra legen min før jul. Jeg bestilte legetime fordi jeg var oppgitt og fortvilet og lurte på hva som var galt med meg siden jeg hadde en hjertefrekvens på sikkert 320 døgnet rundt, ble skikkelig pizzatryne, sov dårlig, hadde en fæl tendens til å få blackouts hvis jeg reiste meg for fort og morgendusjen endte med å svime av. 

Dette var som sagt rett før jul, jeg jobbet ræva av meg for å få pengene til å rekke rundt (det gjør jeg jo hele året egentlig), hadde siste innspurt på skolen og samtidig skal jeg også smile og være fornøyd og helst ikke vise mine svake sider. Jeg har alltid vært en person som foretrekker å ha litt for mye å gjøre enn litt for lite, så det burde jo ikke høres ut som et problem. MEN når dagene varer fra halv åtte om morgenen til halv elleve på kvelden og man må hoppe fra en ting til en annen uten å få gjort de 110%, så er dette et problem for “flinke piker” som meg selv. Videre så resulterer dette i dårligere helse, en forferdelig selvfølelse, følelsen av utilstrekkelighet, og slik jeg sitter nå. Ferdig med alle arbeidskrav på skolen, men klarer ikke å roe meg ned. “Deilig å ikke ha noe å gjøre!” sa jeg til Eirik i stad. Joda… I et par timer, men så blir jeg rastløs. Følelsen av å fri er liksom ikke der. Jeg får dårlig samvittighet fordi jeg burde gjøre noe, ikke bare ligge på sofaen. Ro i kropp, sjel og sinn er på en merkelig måte en fremmed setning. Bare for å ha sagt det, så var det ikke noe galt med meg annet enn at jeg var/er altfor stressa (takkskarrufaenmeghaErna). 

Det at jeg er mindre avslappet nå enn da jeg hoppet i fallskjerm for første gang, er vel bekymringsverdig nok i seg selv….Image

Jeg skylder delvis på Regjeringen og Lånekassen. Hvordan forventes det at jeg skal kunne leve på studielånet som er på 7080,- i mnd når jeg betaler 5500,-  i husleie og har faste utgifter på 1100,-? Man trenger ikke ha doktorgrad (egentlig ikke mer enn grunnskolenivå) i matte for å skjønne at det ikke går. Med mindre man er spiseforstyrret, og ikke trenger mer enn 200,- i mnd på mat da. Da kan det gå rundt, men det la jeg fra meg for lenge siden. Det er på høy tid at regjeringen får på seg lesebrillene og ser sammenhengen mellom frafall, husleie og studielån snart. Er det rettferdig at Oslos studenter som i gjennomsnitt betaler 9712 kr i mnd i husleie får like mye utbetalt i studielån hver måned som studenter i Bergen og Stavanger som i gjennomsnitt betaler 7572 kr i mnd? (SSB, 2011) Så lenge regjeringen ikke klarer å dekke de 20% med studentboliger som er målet engang, må de finne en annen løsning. Jeg tror ikke jeg var den eneste som jublet høyt da den rødgrønne regjeringen i siste liten la fram forslaget om 11 måneder med studielån  istedenfor dagens 10. Men vi har det jo så forbaska bra, Erna? Så det er ikke nødvendig å investere i «morgendagens helter». Vår siste dag på barnehagelærerutdanningen er satt til 17. juni. Det er drøye to uker vi ikke får jobbet, men som vi er på skolen og har eksamen. Hvorfor i alle dager skal vi ikke få tildelt studielån den måneden?? De tre ukene vi har mellom eksamenene i mai som HiOA har beregnet at vi skal bruke på å lese til eksamen, de må jeg bruke til å jobbe så mye som mulig, fordi jeg må ha 7000,- ekstra til juni, og det samme skjer jo i eksamenskjøret som vi har i juni fordi jeg må ha penger til husleie og leve i juli. Jeg kjenner jeg får vondt i magen bare av å tenke på det, og dette er ikke noe som skjer før om 3-4 måneder en gang! Alle snakker om at studietiden er den beste som finnes, og at jeg må nyte den mens jeg kan. Nyte? Dette?? Jeg GLEDER MEG til å bli ferdig med studiene slik at jeg får en fast jobb med stabil inntekt, vite når jeg har fri og når jeg skal på jobb. Ikke ligge våken om nettene og rive av meg neglbåndene i bekymring og frustrasjon. Ja okei, så er jeg en “flink pike” som er langt over gjennomsnittet avhengig av å vite hvor mye penger jeg har å bruke, når jeg får de, litt alt eller ingenting når det gjelder egen prestasjon, men allikevel. Nå høres det ut som jeg har det helt forferdelig og at jeg sulter ihjel, men det gjør jeg jo ikke. Jeg har en jobb jeg stortrives i, går på et studie jeg synes er kjempe spennende, har en samboer jeg elsker herfra til evigheten og familie og venner man bare kunne drømme om. Det jeg ønsker meg, det er muligheten til å ta det mer med ro, ha muligheten til å fokusere mer på studiene, og ikke måtte trenge å vurdere og konte eksamen når den tid kommer. For slik ting er nå, så er oddsen for at jeg tyr til det dessverre skummelt stor. 

Så ja, legen min har vel rett i at jeg må stresse ned for ikke å ende opp med å dø av hjertekarsykdommer (ja det går faktisk an å dø av stress) i en alder av 21 år, men det er litt vanskelig å stresse ned når jeg har etthundreogørteogførti ting som må gjøres og ordnes og passes på. 

Jeg burde vel egentlig leve etter tatoveringen min og prøve å si “ingen bekymringer”
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Så derfor lurer jeg, Erna. Er det for mye å be om “Nye ideer og bedre løsninger” for oss studenter? 

Det var månedens utblåsning. Takk for meg. 

 – Kristin

 

Klumper

Ordet klump må nesten være det mest negative ladde ordet jeg vet om… Det kommer ingenting positivt med det ordet. Forresten, hvis ikke du liker ordet “klump” eller å lese helt meningsløse innlegg, så kan du like gjerne stoppe å lese nå og finne på noe bedre å gjøre med dagen din. Hvis du på den andre siden har det samme hatet for “K”-ordet som meg, eller en eller annen bisarr forkjærlighet for det, så værsågod å les videre.Da kan det være at du blir lei deg, men det er ikke noe jeg vil stå til ansvar for. Internett er fritt, og man kan ytre seg om omtrent hva man vil.
Men tilbake til klump; tenk over det. Hvilke sammenhenger med ordet klump kan du komme på som er positivt? Selvfølgelig, er lommeboken din så full av penger at den er en eneste stor klump, så er jo ikke det akkurat negativt. Og taco da. Noen fortalte meg en gang at taco betyr klump på et eller annet språk. Og taco er sånn ca det beste i verden etter vårruller og sushi.

Men hva er det første du tenker når du hører ordet “klump” eller “klumper”? Klumper i suppa? Klumpfot? Klump i magen? Fettklump? Han feite professoren i “The Klumps”? Hvis du googler ordet “klump” eller “klumper”, så får du ikke opp noe annet enn negative ting om klumper i pelsen til katten eller klumper i brystene og på penis.

Skjønner du hva jeg mener?Image

Klumpfot. Stakkars. Image

Jeg la meg med klump i magen og brystet igår, og våknet med det igjen idag. Why? Ingen større grunn enn at jeg lurer på om jeg skal orke å male hele leiligheten med en gang, og hvilken farge jeg skal ha på listene, karmene og i taket. Tenk om jeg ved en feiltagelse hadde kjøpt gammel klumpete maling som gjorde at jeg ville fått stygge klumper på veggene og i taket?! Det er egentlig bakgrunnen for hele dette innlegget om de jævla klumpene.

Så for å oppsummere:
INGEN VIL HA KLUMPER. De er kun i veien og har ingenting godt for seg. Akkurat som dette innlegget. Men nå lå jeg våken så lenge, og trengte å få uttrykt mitt hat for klumper. Hvis du har lest så langt ned, så synes jeg nesten synd på deg og foreslår at du tar noen virkelige tak i livet ditt så du slipper å kaste det bort på å lese en “Å-blogg” på en så fin torsdag som denne.

Bare fordi jeg ikke gidder å ta bilde av meg selv her jeg sitter i den røde morgenkåpen min og med brillene på nesetippen, så kan du få se et bilde fra hvor solbrent jeg ble den ene dagen i Stryn. Det yter nesten rettferdighet for hvor misfornøyd jeg er nå og hvor mye jeg hater klumper.
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Takk for meg.

- Kristin

South-Africa pt 1

So as most of you know I was in South-Africa with my dads side of the family. The occation was our grandmas 75th birthday. We had an amazing trip together, and I’d love to do it all again if I could. We started of in Sibuya Forrest Camp in the Eastern Cape, a couple of hours drive from Port Elizabeth. We arrived late night, and came to an amazing camp, with amazing staff and amazing food. Since we were as many as 15 travelling all together, we’d rented the whole place. Before we left, I imagined that we would go on a safari like Christian and I did when we were in Africa about a year ago (sleep in tents on thin madrasses, eat of tin plates and make food in a truck), but nooo. This was luxury safari at its best! The “tents” had a full bathroom, beds with duvet covers, leaning chairs etc etc. Of course I didn’t mind, I was just a bit flabbergasted when I saw the tents. Maybe I’ll upload a movie later so you can see for yourselves. We had two nights and one whole day there to go on gamedrives (safari, see animals etc). We saw many different animals, and a whole lot of amazing nature scenes. We ate amazing food, had a free bar (wops!) and our rangers (and the rest of the staff) were the best!

After amazing days in Sibuya, we went on to Knysna where we were to spend christmas. It was about a six hours drive to Knysna, and that place was also pretty amazing! We rented that whole place too, so we didn’t have to care too much about being quiet and not making too much noise. We had five whole days there, and they were spent shopping, one day out on a boat, chilling, and of course christmas eve. The only downside about spending christmas in Africa, is that it doesn’t feel like christmas at all. NO christmas spirit. Oh well. We celebrated christmas when we came home instead : )

All in all, it was a great vacation filled with love, good conversations, laughs and a bit more love. This was a huge summary, and I’ll post some pictures now, and some later. Thank you all for making this a memorable vacation, and a huge thanks to grandma Judy, who made this all possible<3

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– Kristin

I was lost, but now I’m found

As the heading says, after leaving London I was completely lost. London was my plan for two years, and as I was accepted to all of my uni choices, I didn’t even consider anything else. So coming home, not knowing what to do at all, I felt pretty lost. I had no idea what so ever what to do with my life. I do not regret leaving London at all, but coming home without any further plans was rather difficult.
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After a while of not knowing what to do, just working and not being particularly happy with my life, I started working at SFO (“After School Club” don’t know the english word better) I started getting my pieces back together. I love children, and I love working with them. It gives me so much more than what my job at Meny does (no offence guys). So after reading around and about quite a lot, I’ve landed on the choice of pedagogy. I’ll apply for (sorry don’t know the english terms) childrens pedagogy, specialist pedagogy and pre-school teacher. I think this is a really good choice for me, as I’ve already said, love children and working with them. Also I have a lot of personal experiences on this area, which I think might come in handy. I do believe that it’s important to get an education and a job where you not just enjoy working, but also get to use your full potential which you’ve earned during your education, and also the school of life.

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Now, I’m not 100% sure that I’ll be accepted to either of these classes, but my grades are good enough, and if I’m not, well then I’ll travel some more. I miss that.
So that’s my plan for now. I’ll start 2013 by taking some classes to improve my grades from High School (VGS), and travel a little bit, and then hopefully start my education in august.

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Just a little update for those who might care : )

– Kristin

Vanity Studios Photoshoot

Here are the pictures from the photoshoot I did at Vanity Studios in London on the 26th of september! Eight out of ten are in B&W, because I think that looked way better, and also I’m a sucker to Black&White.

It was a fun shoot to do, and I would love to do one again if I get the opportunity :D

As for the whole blogging thing… I love writing and the feedbacks I get is great, but now that I’m home, I don’t really have that much to write about.. Maybe I’ll come up with something extraordinary to write about! Use my brain for once. Haha oh well, we’ll see what I’ll end up with.

- Kristin

I’m coming home

This is not an easy post to write or publish for that sake.. I feel like I’m letting everyone down, including myself. Life in Kingston is great, but I have to face the facts…:

Courses were not what I expected, nor is life here. I’m not liking it the way I thought I would! And considering the fact that I have to pay 107 500kr (11 600 pounds) in tuition fees, and that I have 138 000kr (almost 15 000 pounds) left as a study loan each year, I just don’t feel that it’s worth it. I’d rather wait until next year or whatever, when I know more concretly what I want to do with my life. And it’s not like I don’t want a higher education, because I do, but I want to make sure I make the right choice, cuz this is a lot of money we’re talking about…

Now you’re probably thinking: What, why didn’t she try longer and harder? Three weeks ain’t that long! And she’s in London for christ’s sake!
I’m just thinking that after three weeks something should’ve felt right about being here. And yes, I think it sucks ass that I didn’t like it the way I thought I would, because I’ve been looking forward to this for years actually! But I don’t see why I should put myself through this when I’m breaking myself down mentally and physically by being here. I need more time to work with myself, and I need to be stronger before I can do something like this on my own again. I love London, and everyone here has been so incredibly nice and sweet and welcoming, but sometimes it’s important to put oneself first. I am really sorry to everyone who I’ve let down by making this choice, but right now I need to follow my heart and listen to what my body needs. And as for this moment, it’s going home and be with people and surroundings that makes me stronger, instead of the opposite.



So after deep consideration I’ve chosen to go home. And even after only three weeks, I’ve had a great experience and met so many great people whom I really wish to see again someday! And hey, it’s a long life. I have like 50 more years until I have to retire, so I don’t feel that this is something I have to stress too much with!

I’ll figure it out at some point… But as for now, being safe, healthy and happy the most important thing for me. I hope everyone understands my decision, and thanks to everyone who has supported me while I’ve been here. Don’t know where I would’ve been without you. Seriously <3

 My flight leaves at 9.10am tomorrow morning, so in 24 hours I’ll be home.

   – Kristin

Long time, no see!

Sorry for the late update folks, but there’s been a lot going on lately… School + the fact that Eirik came on wednesday, and I’ve had the most amazing time in London with the most amazing boy I know <3

On wednesday I also did this really cool photoshoot! Annina (from uni) and I were selceted to this viral marketing promotion thingy at Vanity Studios in London. They are located just behind the huge neon light screens at Picadilly Circus, and they were really professional all the time, and I had the best time!

Getting ready in make-up…
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One of the shotsImage

There was a lot of shopping, walking, touristing, laughing, fooling around and unforgetable moments… It’s funny and pretty darn amazing having someone who gives you the feeling of being 100% complete. I know people often are talking about their “better half”, but my love seriously is my better half. Everything falls into place when I’m with him, everything is good and he takes away all bad things and all bad thoughts.

That is actually the London Eye in the background.. <3Image

London tourists!Image

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Our fantastic room with the softest bed evveeeeeer!Image

Yesterday we decided to give ourself some real luxury so we ordered room service breakfast! Omg the blueberry pancakes were sooo good! And the croissants.. And the pain au chocolat….Image

Got myself a new bestie at the Disney store in Oxford street!Image

One major thing I did this weekend was getting a new tattoo! I’ve thought about having this one done for at least six months, and finally I did it! I am so happy with it, love it so much… :D

In the making… His name was Nico and he is from France. Incredibly good! ImageImage

The three birds are mainly for me and my brothers. The smallest one for my little brother, the mid one is me, and the biggest is my older brother. I also had Bob Marleys “Three Little Birds” in mind when I got it. It sort of has the same message as my “Hakuna Matata”-tattoo on my left wrist. I took it at Extreme Needle in Leicester Square, and I’m super happy with them as well. They were super clean and hygenic, and they understood what I wanted and came with recommendations on how to make it the best it could be. So I would most defineatly recommend them!

Anyways, life is pretty good at the moment even though I’m back in my room in Kingston. I have to say though, I really didn’t mind staying at The Montcalm at The Brewery in London. A 5-star hotel is much better than what one would’ve thought!

So overall this week has been really great, and I wouldn’t change a thing… :)

- Kristin

24.09

I don’t know why the pictures look so weird! Tried to fix it, but didn’t help :/ 

IT’S ONLY THREE MONTHS ‘TIL CHRISTMAS!! And for those of you who know me well enough, you know that I LOVE christmas. Just look here:

I was seriously THIS excited about making ginger bread (pepperkaker)!Image

Anyways, considering what I wrote yesterday about school and lectures and ID-card and all of that, I can attend classes. The thing was that if I don’t pay the tuition fees by the 15th of october, I will automatically be withdrawn from Kingston University. However, sitting in class today I must admit that I felt rather dumb. Our teacher used so many words and expressions, I could hardly keep up! And I’m not too sure about this course anymore.. We’ll see through this week, and the next one how everything works out! I’m thinking I won’t spend 200 000 NOK (each year) on something that doesn’t suit me the way I thought it would. But all at it’s time. I know it takes time to get properly settled down with new surroundings and learning methods, yet something should feel right by now.. Oh well, we’ll see about that later :)

I didn’t have (take the time) to take any pictures today, so it’ll do with this nice pic of my ankle which I’ve managed to trample over again (is that even a phrase?). Poor thing is never going to be fixed! Where’s Hermione when you need her..? Okay enough geeksters here. Image

This is my toilet.Image

Ain’t nothin’ to it, gangsta rap made me do itImage

- Kristin

A little bit of this and that

Okay it’s been a while since last post, but a lot’s been going on and that’s a good thing I guess.( I’ve also been rather lazy…) So on thursday I had the last lecture of induction week at MCS. Still not quite convinced. Later on thursday was the Geek party, which was pretty cool! Not as awesome as I’d expected, but I had a lot of fun! We started out at Robins place at Kingston Hill with some friends, and later we went to Ama-Gi where the party was.

Thursdays Fresher’s fayre! Sooo many societies you could sign up with!

Beautiful Kingston!

Geeks 4 everrr! (Elines photos btw)

Haha I was far to happy when I found this Bazinga t-shirt! The Big Bang Theory <3

 

And on friday, I thought I’d finally get my student ID-card and finish up with enrolment and all. I stood out in the cold wind for about two hours before I was inside and waited for another hour. When it finally was my turn, I got inside and was sent around to like ten different people before I finally met this one guy who told me that I couldn’t enrol because I hadn’t payed 50% of the tuition fees.
Guy: Okay, can you log into your mail or lanekassen so I can see your details? 
Me: Yeah of course! (tries to log into lanekassen.no but realizes I have a new english number so can’t use MinID)
Guy: Everything alright? 
Me: No tiny problem, I don’t have the access to any of the information atm
Guy: Okay (fills in some forms and then print them out). Pay the tuition fees at this account number, and then come back the 5th of october to get your ID-card. Oh and btw you can’t attend classes on monday and maybe tuesday because you are not officially a student at KU yet.
Me: What?! Are you serious?? Oh my god this is bullshit… (storms out in full anger and finally at home realizes I forgot to talk to the students office).
So yeeeee I can’t attend classes tomorrow and maybe not on tuesday! Awesome. I knew I hadn’t payed the tuition fees yet (obviously), but they told me I had until the 15th of october to decide if I wanted to continue or quit uni… Appareantly not! I am so angry that this is the way they do things! I mean can’t they like.. meet me halfway or something?! Guess I have to go down to the students office tomorrow and see if I can fix this, cuz now I’m also banned from OSIS (online student information system), so I don’t know when or where I have classes. Yaaaay! -.- I can’t help the feeling that I’m not supposed to be here when NOTHING works out for me.

 

Enrolment line! There was about 100 people behind me in line when I took this picture… 

 

Anyways… later on that day (yup, still on friday) was the Fresher’s ball, which was like the big end to Fresher’s week. I’d bought the tickets, and we were super excited, but we started out at this pre-party where we had a lot of fun and the ball was only until 12am. So we went out and was in line at 11.18pm and the guy told us “sorry we can’t let people in after 11.15pm” … ARE YOU KIDDING WITH ME??! It’s freakin three minutes ago you retarded frat! That’s bullshit! So we didn’t get in, but went straight to the afterparty at Hippodrome which was fun enough except for this really creepy stalker guy…

Haha the only picture from friday :P

 

Saturday was spent in cleaning my room a little bit, and so was today! Also skyping with le boyfriend and los brothers and mooom <3 It’s only three (two) days ’til Eirik is here! :D Can’t wait… <3 I’m really getting on with a cold here, which is soooo NOT cool. Eating painkillers and resting will shake it off though.. I’ve decided that :)

Look mom, I finally bought myself a flower! 

Rainy sunday..

My arm/cuts are getting along well! Hopefully it’ll be gone soon…

Riiight haha… So I haven’t had the time to do a proper workout since I got here because of this and that… That’s why this suits me pretty good right now!

So I’m excited (and kinda nervous) to see what’ll happen tomorrow with school and tuition fees and all..! Painkillers and sleep is up next folks. Sorry for the long post btw….

- Kristin

19.09

Hey peeps!

Blogging everyday is going to be hard at least now during freshers and induction week… Anyways, yesterday was the second day of induction week/school. I still think that TBM (television and new broadcasting media) looks really great, but I’m still no convinced by MCS. I’ll give it a go though. Oh yes, during TBM yesterday, our lecturer (Simon Brown is his name) told us that we have a few hand-ins before christmas, and the main (essay) hand-in is by the middle-end of january, AND (here comes the best part..) we do not have any exams at all! We have a few tests before summer, but no exams! If this goes the way Simon said, I think first year is going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy! So that’s just great :D

This is from the 4th floor at the brand new John Galsworthy building! Super nice :)

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Also I do have to say that there are not just up-sides living in London… First of all, alcohol is way too cheap, and that is not always a good thing. Like yesterday we were going to this foam party at Oceana, and I bought two vodka-redbulls, one jack and coke and one smirnoff ice for like 6 pounds which is about 55 norwegian kroner! I was home at about 3.30am and had to get up at 8.30 because of school… That was a though one.

This vodka was only 14,99Pounds at Sainsburys…
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Pre-party at Robins place yesterday!Image

Yeah there was a lot of foam.. Don’t think I’ve ever felt that clean after a nights out though!Image

Another thing about living here, is having all of your favourite clothing stores within a 20min walk. Yesterday it blew for me, and I bought two pair of leigh-jeans (they’re the BEST) two sweaters and one no-arm shirt… Wops. There are many other things as well, but goood I want to buy EVERYTHING they have at topshop, River Island, Miss Selfridges… Oh well.

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I also managed to get myself a bank account at Lloyds TSB yesterday! Weeo, so hopefully I’ll get my card by the end of the week :) Image

Sorry don’t have time to write more now… Need to go to K-town to meet up with Robin and Eline!

Laterssss!

- Kristin